No one is born with perfect human skills. Children learn human skills – including communication, emotional intelligence, setting boundaries, and empathy – by watching their trusted adults and practicing real-life situations in a safe environment.
As a certified child health professional and licensed therapist who has supported thousands of children and families, I have seen these skills help children gain confidence, navigate relationships and cope with stress and challenges. Over time, children who develop strong interpersonal skills are also more flexible, adaptable, and independent.
Here are six phrases kids with the best interpersonal skills can say, and what you can do to encourage them from a young age.
1. ‘I feel bad’
Children with strong interpersonal skills see the adults around them form and process emotions. This helps them identify their own feelings and feel free to express them.
They are very comfortable with a variety of emotions, including not only happiness, but also sadness, fear, and anxiety. As children grow, they are able to recognize and process complex emotions such as embarrassment, jealousy, and loneliness.
2. ‘My brother is sad, he needs a place’
In homes where feelings are openly discussed, children are more aware of the feelings and needs of others. They are often able to take another person’s point of view and have empathy for them.
This means being aware of someone else’s tears or distress, and having ideas about how to support them as a friend, classmate, sibling, or peer.
It also extends to problem solving and setting boundaries. They recognize when they or someone else may need some time or their space and are willing to give it to them, even when it’s difficult.
3. ‘Who will be there?’
Parents who prepare children for new experiences and communicate their expectations often notice that their child is more adaptable and confident in society.
They may be more comfortable trying new things and know what questions to ask before new experiences. This helps them anticipate challenges, deal with uncertainty, and come up with a strategy to navigate the unknown.
Children who are more confident in society are not afraid. They have learned how to gather information and prepare in advance so they can adapt and adjust as needed.
4. ‘I made a mistake’
When mistakes are seen as learning opportunities, children are able to apologize, correct, and try again. Their parents and caregivers have probably supported them through mistakes and shown them that they are a natural part of growing, learning, and developing.
Instead of facing fear, they are willing to work together to fix and solve problems. They are also better able to tolerate imperfection and can approach difficult times or change according to circumstances.
5. ‘I have an idea’
Children who are more likely to talk grow up in homes where differences are celebrated and working together is important. Their parents probably gave them opportunities to share ideas and use their natural strengths and talents.
This means they have more confidence to think collaboratively and take initiative, making collaboration and shared gaming experiences more flexible, creative, and fun.
6. ‘I don’t like it when…’
The skills of powerful people are not the same as people pleasing. Instead, these children are able to set clear boundaries about how they want to be treated. And they feel comfortable communicating with their boundaries effectively, respectfully, and confidently in the moment.
They prioritize safety, self-advocacy, and emotional awareness in their relationships. In addition to sharing their needs, they also work to listen, hear, and respect others, even when there is disagreement.
Kelsey Mora She is a Certified Child Health Professional and Licensed Clinical Counselor who provides customized support, guidance, and resources to parents, families, and communities affected by medical conditions, trauma, grief, and the stress of everyday life. She is a private practice owner, mother of two, creator and author of Method Workbooksand Chief Clinical Officer of a non-profit organization Pickles Group.
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