The Success of Others, Why do Others do Better than Me?

The frequently asked question, why are others doing better than me? , or the consideration of the success of others, responds to a compulsive desire to compare oneself with others. To evaluate your own success based on what is appreciated in others.

Why do others do better than me? Why is success alien?

They do better:

  • First of all, because you say so.
  • Then, they do better in the aspects that you saw convenient to compare.
  • Third, they do better because they are probably paying a cost that you do not bear.
  • And they do better, ultimately, because they may have had some exceptional conditions to start the trip.

Why are comparisons not useful for evaluating success?

There are two important things to mention regarding the question Why do others do better than me and why is success alien?


1. It is not wrong to ask yourself a question and try to answer it. Those recommendations that suggest dismissing the question as useless do not help. For those who care about their competitive profile, it is natural to make comparisons.


2. In any case, what is wrong is to give capital importance to the issue and consider it a determining factor for self-evaluation.


COMPETITIVENESS is not measured in terms of comparisons with others. RESULTS are those that can be compared and in strict consideration of contextual factors, present, and past.


The Competitive Mind considers the result as a product of YOUR performance, never the performance of others.

Is it common to see an athlete in a sprint, look left and right while running? His sight is fixed on the goal. Because if you did it any other way, you would lose the ability to focus on the result.

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When the race is over, you can evaluate your performance and make comparisons. After the competition, not while it is taking place.


After competing, the possibility of asking oneself, why do others do better than me, applies? or why the success was alien? Never while in progress.


Because you either ACT or you reflect on the very nature of your actions.

Now, it is easy to visualize the matter when it comes to a 100-meter race. But how does this logic work when the race is long-term, or of an indefinite nature? Is it appropriate to constantly look at others and compare yourself?



For those who want to optimize their actions, the demand is the same: evaluate the result as a product of their performance. Not of the others.

The recommendation is based on a simple fact: in practice, it is impossible to be objective in comparison with others. Your own judgment, the lens with which you look at things, weighs a lot. And in comparison to success, that lens is usually clouded by frustration, ambition, desire, envy, and impatience. There is no effective way to clean it up and be honest with yourself.

Why do others do better than me? Why is success alien?

“They are doing better” is a subjective criterion.

“Others do better” BECAUSE YOU SAY SO. The fact does not respond to any criterion of objectivity.


Career success, and life in general, is a long-term career, not a speed test. Comparisons cannot be made in short time spans or short stretches of space/time. In life, you are better today and you are worse tomorrow. So it happens to everyone. Without exception of just one, not even “that or those” with whom you measure things at this moment.


When then is the final evaluation done?

Possibly the only reasonable evaluation can be made when the “race” ends. But if this event is life itself, is there any point in making a comparison when it’s all over? Did life go in an absurd urge to compare things on the road?

“They do better” in what is being compared.-

Second, where are others doing better? What exactly are you comparing?


Ultimately that doesn’t matter either, for another obvious reason: NOBODY does well in everything. There is no person who can say that all “your luggage” is always well and in order. There is not only one. We all have problems! Everyone has shortcomings and difficulties. And in these aspects, he healthy “envies” the situation of others.


There is only one way to avoid the stony path of considering yourself incomplete or deficient in relation to others. And that way does not go through comparisons, rather because it does not depend on “externalities” when measuring itself.


When a person depends on the things that happen on the outside to qualify his success in life, he always swells the ranks of the losers.

It is necessary to live according to what is internal, what is “inside”. There are the parameters that matter and that guarantee emotional stability. And this, in turn, has unmatched value for highly competitive performance.

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Do you see someone “outside” that things are going better than you? Do you know, however, everything that happens in his life? Are you sure he doesn’t look at you and others with the same feeling? Do you know what will happen to him tomorrow, or what will happen to you?

Why do others do better than me? Is the success of others?

“They are doing better” because they are paying the cost of it.

Third, it is possible that “others do better” because they are paying a cost that you do not bear. It’s completely possible! At least in the reasonably objective conjuncture that is being measured.

It should be understood that people achieve better or worse results than others essentially because of the COST they pay for their results. Not necessarily for reasons of fitness or chance.

There is an almost universal propensity to accept positive results, but very little willingness to pay the costs involved. And these are greater the more ambitious is the result that is pursued.


If you are not paying the cost of your goals, ambitions, desires, and dreams, then those who are doing it are “better off”. Isn’t it logical?


On the other hand, if for some reason you are not willing to pay that cost (which can be very reasonable), why are you bitter with the result of the comparisons?


It is good that in this life everyone learns to basically respect who pays the costs of the state they want and reach. If someone paid the cost of a seat close to the artist giving the concert and another assumed the cost of a seat in the gallery located fifty meters from the stage, where is the loss? Each one receives the value of the cost borne. But finally, it is a VALUE !. And as such corresponding, coherent, consistent, and pertinent with the investment.


And what happens to those who invest the “wrong” to enjoy results that are forbidden to the upright man? What about the corrupt, criminals, profiteers, and all those who have decided to ignore what the social consensus defines as correct? Well, it also calculates the COST that (sooner rather than later), they will pay for their results.


Never get lost in this review – everything has a cost! And whoever decides to face it pays for it anyway.

While it is not possible to judge favorably who takes the “wrong paths”, there is a man who deserves an equal or worse evaluation: the mediocre. This is the one that corrodes the general well-being. The “lukewarm” of the biblical manifestations. The “neutral” individual in his concerns to visualize the economic and social future of the species.

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This is the model of man to flee from. Because among other things, and unlike the wrongdoer, he is not subject to any collective norm. Nor is it subject, of course, to any moral standards. He simply IS NOT and DOES NOT WANT. Nor does he feel bad about himself (that was good), rather he feels good without being and without ceasing to be.


There is a useful definition of this individual: ” mediocre is one who for different reasons has stopped fighting for what he dreamed or longed for at some point in his life .”

Comparisons help little in defining success. But STOP FIGHTING is the final grade in an individual’s grade. And to stop fighting for dreams, desires, longings is the only proper qualification of the loser.

Why do others do better than me? Why is success alien?

“They are doing better” due to extraordinary conditions that favor their departure.-

Finally, the comparison of “why do others do better than me?” and the alienation of success cannot exclude the consideration of exceptional factors. Outside of anyone’s control.


Warren Buffett, the American millionaire, ever wondered if he could have had a similar life had he been the son of a woman in an African village. His honest answer was no. And this he calls the “belly lottery.”


Is there any use in making comparisons in these cases? Does it make sense to ask yourself why others do better than me when these factors exist?


Now, surely it does not take advantage of the specific comparison, but it does not serve to use the argument to justify its own defect. It is part of mediocre thinking to say that “my life would have been very different if I was born in Chicago.”


There are those who start the race for life in a sports car, others on a bicycle, and most on foot. It is up to all of them to undertake the journey and invest their best efforts to go as far as they can. There is no excuse! Life does not accept them.

Possibly greater credit will have to be given to the one who went the furthest by making the trip on foot. But ultimately this is also a forced judgment.

No one can evaluate anyone’s success!

Success is a phenomenon of intimate, strictly personal evaluation. It never depends on the evaluation of externalities.


Any of us could dare to evaluate the life of Warren Buffett and probably rate it as very positive in terms of comparisons. It is presumed that he has had a splendid existence. Surely I pay the cost that she represents and possibly feel very good with everything done and obtained. Blessed be!


But it is also possible that that boy did better in a village in Africa.

Perhaps the happiest man on earth feels and has never known a decent house in the comparative terms that you or Buffett would have. And of course, I don’t even know what Chicago means.