Trust Yourself and Convince Everyone that you are the Best, Even if You are Not (Yet)
Insecurity, fear, and doubts kill more dreams than lack of knowledge. They leave you stuck in the personal and professional. Let’s not talk about how they affect your business. Besides feeling fatal, they are very destructive. Learn to trust yourself and convince others that you are the best, even if you are not yet.
I was enjoying a hot chocolate sitting in a cafe. The atmosphere outside was cold. I amused myself by watching the steam coming out of my cup and making enigmatic movements. I was in my zen moment. There was a foreign couple at the opposite table and a lonely writer at another.
A filthy boy in shabby clothes and a guitar in hand walks into the cafe. Typical starving busker.
“Hello friends, sorry for the inconvenience I am going to cause you. I hope I don’t interrupt you. I’m going to sing for you ”
Play a song.
“I see you are busy. Sorry I bothered you with my music . Excuse me, excuse me (looking at the foreigners) ”
Play the second song.
“One more and I stop bothering you. I don’t want to cause any inconvenience. Sorry to ruinyour afternoon. ”
Sing for the third time
The writer looks up and goes back to business.
“Well that was all. If you could support me with some currency I would appreciate it, but it is not necessary . And excuse me again. Have a nice afternoon ”
He passes an old hat and we give him the change that we have left.
Busker comes out of the cafe. He meets his friend and complains that people do not appreciate art. He says that everything is the fault of the capitalist system that has us oppressed.
Hello! The only one who is oppressed is you.
It bothered me, but not precisely because his music was bad. I’ve seen worse. It gave me the sensation of going through torture to be in front of us. There was no trace of pleasure in what he was doing.
Nor did he believe in what he was doing
That’s not sexy
End people’s zen moments
His constant apologies distracted me and kept me from concentrating on the smoke from my chocolate! Grrrr …
Do you have a street music mentality?
Do you feel insecure and incapable, full of doubts about your knowledge?
Do you underestimate what you do?
Are you prey to fears that do not let you advance?
Or worse yet, you take the role of victim and blame people
- Clients go overboard by not valuing work. They can become abusive.
- People do not know the responsibility, time, and dedication that my service requires
- They do not realize the study, work, and effort behind
- Others ask for less and do not want to pay me what I charge
If you identify yourself, you are in the same situation as the musician in the cafe.
Dominate Your Inner Bitch
Neither the people who don’t understand you, nor the situation in the country, nor your lack of knowledge or experience is stopping you. The only one that keeps you stuck and full of insecurity is your inner bitch.
Who is that, you ask?
Some call it ego. I say she’s your worst friend. The one that looks at 5% bad in everything you do and crushes you for it, instead of congratulating you on 95% good. The one that attaches a but to all your achievements and initiatives
- I am determined to start my business. I don’t want to depend on a job … but I’m afraid it won’t work
- I have so much desire to grow and fulfill myself as a person and professionally, dedicate myself to what I like … but I don’t want to lose the comfort that my work gives me
- Today I look incredibly good, I put together the perfect outfit … but this lock of hair does not fit
- Today I ran for an hour and then I did 100 sit-ups … but I ate a cookie full of sugar. I am going to get fat.
In times of change, when you try something new, you step out of your comfort zone. You do not know what result you are going to obtain and you feel more vulnerable than normal. This is the perfect opportunity to attack the inner bitch!
If you don’t learn to master it, it can sink you and leave you stagnant forever… just like my friend the musician did. His insecurity, his doubts, and his fears, more than the fact that he sang badly, made his performance mediocrity.
You don’t need to be the best of the best to show your worth. When something makes you feel insecure and the dog pokes his head inside, you can accept the fact that still not as much but you’re on your way.
- I am already determined to start my business. I don’t want to depend on a job… it won’t work the first time, but I’m going to learn.
- I have so much desire to grow and fulfill myself as a person and professionally, dedicate myself to what I like… it will be difficult at first, I will have to adapt but I will learn.
- Today I ran for an hour and then I did 100 sit-ups. I had a cookie filled with sugar. I am learning to create healthy habits and I enjoyed it knowing that I deserve it.
How to be the best, even if you are not … yet
The musician has three options. One is to continue to suffer and apologize every time you play. The other is to do something about it and rehearse to play better. The third and the one I would do is rehearse, but I would also welcome my beginner situation.
If you think you are not good enough at what you do, you probably are not.
Does matters? That does not mean that you should be locked in the basement so that no one notices your lack of know-how. On the contrary. Embrace your beginner status and from there do the best you can.
Talent is not as necessary as is often believed. This article explains that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a world-class expert in any discipline. Go figure! Equivalent to 416 whole days. More than a year practicing without resting. It sounds intimidating, but it also means that anyone can do it, as long as they invest the time and dedication.
On the road to greatness, lack of skill doesn’t need to be justified. Being willing to practice to transform yourself into what you want to separate you from the 99% of the population that does nothing to solve their mediocrity.
That automatically makes you extraordinary
It’s very sexy
You are not what you want to be, yet. But you are forging yourself, like coal that is being transmuted into a diamond. When you least realize it, you will have met your quota and you will truly be exceptional.
80% is more than enough
Your art doesn’t need to be exceptional to be of value. When you feel insecure about sharing your work, apply the rule of 80 which reads like this:
80% shared is enough and better than 100% kept in the drawer
Pareto’s law explains that 80% of the results are achieved with 20% of the causes. Go figure. If I have an hour to write an article, I spend 12 minutes building the foundation and 48 minutes. in edit.
If it weren’t for the rule of 80, the text you read would still be on my to-do list. I would be wasting my time changing points to commas, words to synonyms, and the order of the paragraphs over and over and over again without achieving significant improvements.
When you find yourself obsessed with insignificant details, remember: the essence of the work is already done. It is more than enough. Give it your blessing and bring it out. The fresh look of another will give you more guidelines to improve than your own addiction-inked outlook.
Sell yourself like you’re the last beer in the stadium
Do not ask for forgiveness, permission, or apology, and sell yourself as if you were the last beer in the stadium. If you believe in what you do and show it by being proud of it, you will convince people that your art is worth it, even if you are a beginner.
It is not about inventing things that are not, but about embracing your situation and from there doing the best you can. Share from the heart and let others have their say. Don’t dismiss yourself before they do.
When I started my first blog I felt very insecure. It was my first online business! Well, my first business in life. She shared sewing tutorials and designs to make in fabric. All the time I compared myself to bloggers who had been on the Internet for years. As I learned, I began to gain confidence, but the insecurity never went away.
I believed that my material was not as good as the others. This had no foundation and reality proved otherwise.
My tutorials were pinned and shared regularly, some even had more than 5,000 pins. Most importantly, people paid for my products. Then they would leave me comments saying how much they liked them.
It wasn’t enough for my inner bitch. She kept saying that my designs weren’t good because… well because.
The cycle of my first blog was completed and one day I closed it (for various reasons that I will tell you in another post). My tutorials ceased to exist forever. I started getting emails from people asking for them back because they liked them so much. That was a soft white glove slap to my insecurity.
I realized how my own limiting beliefs kept me stuck for the first four years of my life as an entrepreneur, just like my musician friend. The worst thing is that he was repeating history with Pura Vida Style.
Welcome inner work! Several meditations, affirmations, visualizations, and reflections later, I finally began to feel proud of what I write here.
I changed my speech from “Oh no, please don’t read it, what a shame” to “Yes, that’s what I think, please read it. I am sure it will be useful to you and if it is not, you can close the window. My material is not for everyone, only for certain types of people who resonate with my way of thinking. I’m not going to change who I am to please you. That does not mean that we cannot be friends, we are simply different. ”
I started moving my writing on Facebook, on Twitter, on Pinterest and started a subscriber list. Traffic to my blog grew. I began to have female readers. People started telling me that they liked my way of writing. I received positive comments and encouraging words.
I do not have an MBA or professional training in business. But I know several things about online entrepreneurship from my four years of running a successful blog. I know that techniques and knowledge are 50%. The other 50% comes from personal development. I learned it from experience and from all the conversations I have had with my colleagues. I don’t boast of being an expert. I only share what I think may be useful to someone else.
That permits me to sell myself as the last beer in the stadium.
If I’d listened to my inner bitch, I’d still be stuck. Dreaming of someone discovering and appreciating my art, but doing nothing about it.
Mind games are more detrimental to success than external factors. You are amazing. You know it, so don’t be afraid to go for your dreams. In summary, these are the steps to follow:
- Identify your street music mentality, what is your internal speech? Writing helps me, but talking also helps. By counting your insecurities you make yourself aware of them.
- Embrace a beginner’s attitude and shut up your inner bitch. You are not an expert yet but you are on your way. You only have 9,999 hours of practice left.
- Be content with doing things 80% right and bring them out into the open. Let others have a say. Learn and improve.
- Have confidence in yourself. Sell yourself like you’re the last beer in the stadium. If you believe in yourself, others will too.
What fears, insecurities and doubts separate you from what you want? Drop them in the comments and take down the inner bitch once and for all.