We all know that success requires trade-offs, but few people admit how painful those trade-offs can feel.
While researching my book, “The Long Game: How to Be a Long-Term Thinker in a Short-Term World,” I discovered that it’s the willingness to make tough decisions, prepared for the long term, that really sets the best players apart.
Even more challenging than doing the work is being willing to sit with the discomfort that comes from emotionally demanding tasks. But facing the tough questions — and yourself — will allow you to achieve lasting success.
Here are three very uncomfortable things that highly successful professionals are willing to do.
1. Say no to good opportunities
Top professionals realize that they have to leave space in their calendar big opportunities – and unfortunately, the only way to do it is to say no to others good one.
My wife and I were recently invited to stay for a week at a colleague’s house in Tuscany for free. It would have been magical, but the visit was a few weeks before my wife’s book launch. Reluctantly, we declined. While we could have said yes and tried to do everything, we realized it would inevitably mean a restless holiday – and a book launch that might have fallen flat.
Ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 10:
- “How excited am I for this opportunity?”
- “How much do I think it’s going to move the needle on my career?”
- “What should I reject or postpone if I say yes to this?”
Most of us get into trouble with a six or seven on that scale of 1 to 10, and end up clogging up our calendar with commitments that prevent us from scanning the horizon for even better opportunities.
2. Practice your craft even when no one seems to care
Encouragement from others helps build momentum for a skill, project, or idea. It’s so hard to hold yourself accountable when you’re starting a new initiative or learning a new set of skills and no one else seems to care. If you miss a day, a week, or even a month, you start thinking to yourself, “Who would really notice?”
But putting in repetitions helps you reach your goal, whether it’s becoming a better writer, an engaging public speaker, or a successful vibecoder. Progress can be frustrating for a long time, but eventually you develop deep expertise and a caring community.
Kara Cutruzzula, a reporter and author I featured on “The Long Game,” started a daily email newsletter and, by the time I interviewed her, had written more than 800 programs. At first, he sent it to a small number of friends, but over time his audience grew. She finally got a book deal when a book editor who had subscribed to her newsletter emailed her and suggested that Kara would be the perfect person to write a motivational magazine.
Being willing to work in a seemingly inexplicable way while mastering your craft can feel frustrating and lonely – but those compounding benefits can end up changing your life.
3. Accept when goals or identity change
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit that you, and your goals, have changed. It’s so easy to cling to your past self-concept when changing your focus can feel like a betrayal of your past self, who worked so hard to get to this point. But it’s important to change courses as soon as possible, rather than working hard for a result you no longer want.
Ali, another expert I wrote for, had spent 10 years working in corporate finance and knew something was wrong. But it took him four years to leave his job and switch to a new career as a consultant and coach, because he was afraid to let go of his identity as a successful executive.
It’s important to stay aware of changes and notice small signs such as reluctance to go to work in the mornings you previously enjoyed, gravitating to a new area of inquiry, or feeling that the way people describe you no longer fits.
We need to separate who we are from what is happening right now, Ali told me. Because, as he puts it: “Sometimes the stories we tell ourselves about our professional lives hold us back.”
Dorie Clark taught higher education for over ten years at Columbia Business School and Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. He is a keynote speaker, former presidential campaign spokesman, and best-selling author “The Long Game.” You can sign up for his newsletter here.
Want to get ahead at work? Then you need to learn how to make an effective small talk. In a new CNBC online course, How to Talk to People at Workexpert instructors share practical strategies to help you use everyday conversations to gain visibility, build meaningful relationships and accelerate your career growth. Register today!
